Blog Archives

Mother to Son

4/26/2011

As a busy mommy...you won't read as many blogs from me as you will my husband...but I thought I'd catch up with him and share the letter that I wrote when I went to my Son-Rise training. Both the Start-Up and Maximum Impact courses were life changing experiences for me. I learned to see through NEW eyes....which changed everything. Not only did I truly come to realize the GIFT my son's autism is...but Son-Rise also EMPOWERED me to help my baby on this incredible journey and take matters into my own hands. What a relief not to have to depend on therapists to help my son! Now I feel equipped to train and create an 'Olympic Team' for my baby boy....and it's going to be sooooo much FUN!!! :0) Thank God we were lead to Son-Rise. I believe this journey is our calling.

At the gates entering The Option Institute (home for ATCA & The Son-Rise Program) is a beautiful sign that says A PLACE FOR MIRACLES. Ka'eo Jr. is my little "Miracle in Progress." This is the letter I wrote to him in December 2010 and my Son-Rise Start Up program:

My Dearest Precious Angel ~ Ka'eo Jr.,

I write this letter to you today on a snowy day in December...far, far away from you. The odd thing is that although my heart aches because I miss that sweet precious smile of yours sooooo very much....I also feel closer to you now than I have ever felt before. For in this moment have I realized all that YOU have given me.

I have let go of all fears now and mommy is not worried about your future anymore. I know now in my heart that you were sent to me from Heaven above - exactly as you are and as PERFECT as you are...for a very special reason. I am now beginning to become the person I have always searched to be....and it's all because of you. You have taught me so much since you came into my life....and I want nothing more than to be the best mommy I can be for you and Koa.

I believe in you and your limitless potential. I promise you that I will be your number one fan for the rest of my life and ever after. I never knew a love like this until you...so thank you, my little angel....for all you have given me. Please know that I will love you forever...exactly as you are. You are my glimpse of Heaven.

~Mommy

:

1 Comment

$,$,$ - the COSTS of being trained and running a SOLID Son-Rise Program

4/8/2011

2 Comments

I originally wrote this BLOG in response to some other Son-Rise parents who were concerned about the costs of attending more advanced training courses at the Autism Treatment Center of America in Sheffield, Massachusetts. Since I was originally addressing other Son-Rise families, I didn't explain everything I mentioned. I've edited the BLOG to explain acronyms, etc. but if you have any quesions, please email us or comment on this BLOG and I'll do my best to explain! Aloha...

Okay…here’s a long one to read…these are my thoughts regarding the COSTS of getting fully trained and running a Son-Rise Program…because if you read our DONATE page, you may be thinking you’ll never be able to afford to do Son-Rise!

I can tell you straight, we don’t have $$$. I’m in debt; I have back taxes, etc… The cost of the advanced training courses at the ATCA (Autism Treatment Center of America) was and still is a very big concern for us. I keep making plans like, “Jackie will go to the Start-Up Program Training and I’ll just listen to her recordings” or “Okay we both went to the Start-Up Program, but she’ll go to the advanced courses, I don’t need to,” then it was, “Jackie will go to Maximum Impact Training and I’ll go to New Frontiers Training”… but every step of the way, our prayers were answered, the ATCA granted us a partial scholarship for every course we've taken…family and friends will sometimes surprise us with a check in the mail (we sent out fundraising letters with our Christmas Cards)…or I’ll find an opportunity to raise extra $$$.

It truly is a struggle to think about the costs of the courses and travel and time off work, etc. It is still a challenge to think about having to pay thousands for outreaches or even hundreds for consultations or dialogues. I’ve never done a consultation or dialogue myself at the ATCA. Instead, I spent $200 there on books and CDs to learn more about the Option Process ® (a method of taking control of your own beliefs and feelings). Jackie has now done 2 dialogue sessions with the ATCA. We really felt her dialogue sessions were of the utmost importance for her because she is the engine behind our entire program and family (I’m more like the fuel, ha!). I am determined to get our family to a Son-Rise Intensive Program in 2012 as well…($18,000 not including travel)

I’m very confident the fundraising ideas from ATCA work. We’re planning on doing a dinner event with a silent auction. I’ve heard of families raising anywhere from $3000-$10,000 in one night! I’m still pursuing the Department of Education in Hawai'i for funding of our home-based program. I’m still taking every opportunity I can to spread the word about Son-Rise in Hawaii – in hopes of being a light to other families out there but also in hopes of getting referral credits. We’ve already got 2, that’s 50% of a class paid!

Really, the bottom line for me is this:

Son-Rise Start-Up Course changed my life. It truly shook up my beliefs right down to the foundation of whom I thought I was and always would be.
Son-Rise is absolutely working with our son; we’re only at 15 hours per week and he’s already grown SO much, I’m bursting with excitement at the thought of having a full team and running a solid program.
The revelations Jackie has had at Max this week completely super charged her motivation and absolutely gave her clarity about many of her core fears, anxieties, uncertainties, and doubts.

I mean really, people go to unbelievable extremes: they climb mountains, get surgeries, hypnotize themselves, leave their families behind, spend years at monasteries, or spend tens of thousands of dollars to try to find this type of permanent life-changing experience – to find happiness.

Yesterday, Jackie was describing her experience at Maximum Impact to me, and we were both committing to each other to really make the Option Process ® the core of who we are for the rest of our lives and she said, “its really like finding Heaven on earth”…what a statement!

So now, hopefully you can see where I’m coming from on these decisions to dig deep and find the means to make it out to The Autism Treatment Center of America again and again and to run this program to best of our abilities…whatever it takes!

I’d love to hear everyone else’s thoughts on this! You CAN DO IT !!!

2 Comments

Where Does God Fit In?

4/6/2011

1 Comment

I was recently asked a question by a dear friend and fellow parent of a child with autism. It was such a great question, I'd like to share it and my response. This was also from March 27th.

I see that so many talk about choosing to be happy and how it all starts with yourself. Can you please tell me how you're able to differentiate that with still putting God first? That's my only true feeling of being torn. That I put all the weight on (us) and leave God out of the equation...

Thank you for asking that question. I believe I can answer that in a few ways. First, I do want to acknowledge that the Kaufmans are extremely spiritual people. Putting God first in their lives and not being afraid to talk about God in their teachings and lectures. I also want to acknowledge that our own family is Christian, serving at church on worship team and praying together as a family when ever our hearts move us to.

Next, I want to talk about choosing to be happy and also about looking to understand yourself before you can start to truly help your son. God gave us the most precious and most challenging gift when he gave us free will. By allowing us the freedom to choose our faith, our actions, our desires, our words, and our feelings, He shows us the utmost respect and trust. Now, when I say, “we choose our feelings”, that is really the foundation of everything they teach at the Option Institute, including the Son-Rise program.

If you think about it, everything that happens in life is just what it is. It isn’t good or bad until we decide it is. For example, a couple get into a car accident, the husband is standing on the side of the road just furious as he looks at his brand new Mercedes Benz in ruins, while his wife is standing next to him in tears of joy, praying to God for his blessings for they are both alive and unharmed and will be able to return home to their children that evening. You and I could even look at our sons’ autism this way, it isn’t good or bad, it just is. The good or bad part comes from what we decide it to be. A great example of that is looking at my first FB entry after Ka’eo, Jr was diagnosed – doom and gloom, then looking at many of my FB posts recently – sheer joy and excitement! Ka’eo, Jr may have improved since then, but he still has autism. What really changed was my belief and my choice about how to feel about the situation, about Ka’eo, Jr., about our future, and about myself and my role in this journey.

One of the first things we learn in Son-Rise is to be happy with ourselves, to be happy with our children, and to be happy with their autism. Our sons’ autism is a part of them, for now, it is just as much a part of them as their cute little toesies! Not everyone recovers through Son-Rise. But really, not everyone recovers from ABA, Biomedical, Floortime, RDI, etc.! A fantastic thing I’ve learned is how to WANT but not to NEED. (I only wish I’d learned these principles when I was younger, so much stress, conflict, and pain could have been avoided!) I want Ka’eo, Jr to recover from autism but I don’t need him to. I want him to say, “Daddy, I love you.” but I don’t need him to. I want to get a promotion at work, but I don’t need to. I want my wife to kiss me 20 times a day but I don’t need her to. Get the picture? By letting go of our need for things to happen, we are free to want as much as we desire without being let down, disappointed, or stressed.

This leads perfectly into the foundations of Son-Rise: complete non-judgment, acceptance, and love. If I don’t NEED Ka’eo, Jr. to get better or perform better, I am free to truly love and accept him for who he is in this moment. Also, if I am in control of my beliefs, I am in control of my feelings, and I am free to choose happiness in each moment. What a gift!

I believe God is in control. He gave me this life, he gave me this child, he gave me this family, he gave me Son-Rise. I believe he has a plan for us all. I also believe he gave me free will in order to choose my own path, my own faith, and my own happiness.

I hope this helps!

Love n Aloha… ~Ka’eo

1 Comment

Therapists or No Therapists ?

4/6/2011

0 Comments

I originally wrote this as a post to my Son-Rise Start-Up Group and later to my FaceBook family. I belive I wrote it on March 27, 2011:

This week, we took a giant leap forward in our family’s journey with our son’s beautiful autism. On Monday morning we had a meeting with Ka’eo, Jr’s Autism Skills Trainers where we let them know we appreciate all the love and support they’ve given us over the past 8 months we’ve been in Hawaii, and we are now ready to move forward on... our own and no longer desire their services.

There were some tears on both sides of the conversation but after it was all said and done, we feel relieved, empowered, and inspired to move forward with full force towards a full-time Son-Rise Program for Ka’eo, Jr.

Our therapists were “trying” to embrace our new found beliefs and direction with Ka’eo, Jr. Although, the underlying truth was our loving therapists really believed THEY are the experts, WE are the parents, and while they would do their best to respect our desires, THEY knew what was truly best for our son, not US.

To quote the manager directly, “We know you love your son and want the best for him, but honestly, sometimes mothers do SABOTAGE their own child’s program.” Perhaps it was better said by the supervisor in charge of our Skills Trainer, “I know he is YOUR son, but we’ve been doing this for a really long time and ultimately WE know what works best for these kids. If you’re not happy with what we are doing here, you always have the right to REFUSE SERVICES.”

What brought about Monday’s meeting was the concern our Skills Trainer brought to her supervisor --> my wife was being “unkind” and “disrespectful” to her because after every session, Jackie kept giving her feedback and wanting to dialogue about Ka’eo Jr’s response to the session. :o)

Now, when I say “loving therapists”, I do truly mean it! I’m not being sarcastic! I absolutely believe they care about Ka’eo, Jr., and there is no doubt in my mind they genuinely believe --> THEY know what is BEST for him and WE are loving but simply NAIVE parents…

I believe they are confident in their training, and also don’t understand that Son-Rise teaches us constant, loving feedback and dialogue is the key to growing and improving in our focus and effectiveness with Ka’eo, Jr. in his playroom. Many Son-Rise methods are contrary to the techniques they’ve learned and I understand they may not feel comfortable using strategies that make so much sense and are so in-line with what our son is interested in. It’s okay.

The bottom line is -- we are now free to build our program from the ground up. We are happier than ever to do so. Jackie leaves for Son-Rise Maximum Impact training on Saturday. I’m posting 100 flyers for volunteers. We are going to hit the ground running in 2 weeks.

By the way, this week, Ka’eo had the most amazing progress in his playroom TO DATE!

0 Comments

Father to Son

4/6/2011

0 Comments

When I went to the Son-Rise Start-Up program my life was changed forever. I experienced an amazing week of self-discovery, brotherly love, and pure inspiration. I came to realize the truth about my feelings and to learn how to be free to choose happiness in every situation. I learned how to love my son, my family, and myself without judgment.

Of the entire week, the most memorable and inspirational moment I had was when I was given the opportunity to sit down for a while, alone with my thoughts and write a letter to Ka'eo, Jr.  I'm proud of my son and I'm proud of my feelings for him, and just as I shared my letter with my Son-Rise brothers and sisters, I'd like to share them with you:

                                                                                                                                        February 25, 2011
To My Precious Ka'eo, Jr.,

You are my greatest accomplishment in life! I love you with the entire depth of my soul. I am so deeply proud of you. I love and accept everything about you.

I admire that you are able to find such peace and happiness in your own world. I see such courage in you when you try to reach us in our crazy, unpredictable world. Your love means everything to me and the slightest connection with you immediately warms my heart and reminds me what is truly important and precious in life. You!

Your autism has been such an amazing blessing to me because it has challenged me to be the best daddy I can be for you & Koa. It has made me open my heart, my beliefs, and my eyes in a way I never thought possible.

You bring out the best in me and I promise to do everything in my power to join you in your world and help you accomplish whatever you desire, to fulfill your highest potential.

I am so excited for our journey together in complete love & acceptance.

                                                                        Love,
                                                                           Daddy

0 Comments

First Post!

4/2/2011

2 Comments

Welcome to our BLOG! This is my favorite part of our website because you can really get to know us here and experience our journey with us. When we first wanted to create a website for Ka’eo, Jr., the main intention was to give our family and friends, whom love and support us from so many miles around the globe, a way to understand more about our family, our first born son, and our growth throughout these next few years.

We’ve already written some things we’d like to share with you, so I’ll be posting some Blogs we wrote before this website was born. Then we’ll begin sharing videos and writing new blogs as we go!

Please contact us. We would love to hear from you! I hope you enjoy the ride because we most certainly are!!!

2 Comments

Authors

Jackie and Ka'eo Griffin Sr. are the authors of this blog. We want to recourd our journey with our first born son, Ka'eo Jr, as we work together towards his recovery from autism. Mahalo for reading. Please share your thoughts with us!

Mother to Son

$,$,$ - the COSTS of being trained and running a SOLID Son-Rise Program

Where Does God Fit In?

Therapists or No Therapists ?

Father to Son

First Post!

Authors

Archives

Categories